Self-Love: A Lifelong Practice
Self-love is more than a buzzword or social media hashtag—it’s an ongoing practice, a lifelong journey of embracing ourselves fully and prioritising the things, people, and spaces that bring us peace and joy. It means recognising that softness and self-compassion are acts of healing, which cultivate a deeper sense of worthiness and belonging.
Embracing the Full Spectrum of Ourselves
It means embracing all parts of ourselves—the radiant and joyful, as well as the uncomfortable, vulnerable, and seemingly undesirable. It requires us to sit with our emotions, acknowledge our flaws without judgment, and offer ourselves the same kindness and compassion we would give a loved one.
Self-love also means choosing environments where we feel welcome and celebrated. It’s about surrounding ourselves with people who uplift us and spaces where we can express ourselves without reservation. When we honour our authenticity, we not only create room for our own growth but also inspire others to do the same.
As a Black woman, self-love is joy and pride in my heritage, my origins. It’s refusing to shrink myself to be accepted. It is an act of resistance and empowerment.
Self-Love as an Art
Because, like any art form, it requires patience, dedication, and practice. It’s deeply personal and evolves over time. There is no one-size-fits-all approach. Each of us must explore and embody self-love in ways that feel intuitive and true to who we are. Just as artists find their unique style, we, too, must discover what self-love looks like for us.
And like art, it’s a beautiful thing to witness and experience. Seeing someone fully embrace their worth, walk in confidence, and treat themselves with care is a reminder that we can do the same.
The Practice of Self-Love
Self-love is far from easy—it’s a practice that requires time, dedication and grace. If you’re feeling stuck on how to start embodying self-love, here are some ways to cultivate it:
- Discover Your Love Language: How do you show love to yourself? Is it through words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, or gifts? Understanding this helps us nurture ourselves in meaningful ways.
- Positive Self-Talk & Affirmations: Many of us can be our own harshest critics. Practising self-compassion means recognising when we are being unkind to ourselves and replacing negative thoughts with affirming ones. My favourite affirmation this month has been:
- I am worthy of love, care, and kindness—especially from myself.
Spend some time writing out and reading out loud your own affirmations.
- Heart-Centred Meditation:Find a quiet space, connect to your breath, and focus on your heart centre. Repeat chosen affirmations and bring to mind something you love about yourself. Visualise a warm, radiant green light expanding from your heart, filling you with warmth and gentleness.
- Treat Yourself with Kindness: Prioritise activities that bring you joy and allow you to express yourself freely. Whether it’s through yoga, creative outlets, deep friendships, or simply taking time to rest and slow down, self-care is a radical act of self-love.
- Setting Boundaries: Loving yourself also means protecting your energy. Set boundaries that honour your well-being and say no to anything that doesn’t align with your peace and purpose.
The Blueprint
The way we love ourselves sets the tone for how we allow others to love us. By practising self-love, we create a blueprint for the relationships we desire; ones built on respect, care, and mutual appreciation. When we honour our worth, we attract people who honour it too.
Reclaiming Wellness for Black Women
Black women are reclaiming wellness on our own terms. More of us are stepping into this space as practitioners, facilitators, and healers, sharing these practices in ways that centre our culture and lived experiences. There is still work to do in making mainstream wellness spaces truly inclusive, but we are no longer waiting for permission. We are creating our own sacred spaces for healing, joy, and community.
Black Joy x Wellness invites women of colour to join us on February 23rd for our Art of Self-Love Afternoon Retreat.
As co-founders, Georgie and I had the pleasure of speaking more about this event last week on BBC Radio London. You can listen to our interview here (starts at timestamp 2:17): BBC Sounds
This will be a space to rest, connect with like-minded sisters and cultivate a deeper sense of self-love.
2024